Word Weld

While I was immediately suspicious of the fact that Patrick, Winter’s new boyfriend, had the same type of car that I had seen the night of the attack, I didn’t quite know what to think of it. It was doubly suspicious, too, since it was not long after the attack when he had met Winter. Add to that the fact that he had taken a great deal of interest in me when he met me, and you can imagine the outlandish theories that swam through my head. Of course, I went through the usual pendulum thought process, one moment having him being an assassin or some kind of cultic agent, and the next kicking myself rather hard for being very silly about a man who was just another one of Winter’s dates. As I said, I didn’t know what to think.

Winter was some time at her date, and in the meantime I found myself rather annoyed at the house. I tried to watch some television, but quickly came to the knowledge of how impossible that was. Frustrated, I thought about settling down to read a book, only to remember that I could not read either. It was especially frustrating because my mind had reconstructed the colors and textures to everything in the house so well that I began to forget that I was blind, so when I turned on the television, I just expected to see something on the screen. I actually thought it was broken before it occurred to me what was wrong. Having been lying around on a hospital bed for days, I really didn’t want to take a nap. At the same time, I couldn’t just go for a walk, either, since I was supposed to be blind.

It was during this time that I began to feel trapped. Disappointment mixed with anger inside me, and I found myself just kicking things, or throwing them. There was a little garden out back in my fenced-in yard, and I took my only solace that afternoon in working on it. I usually didn’t, because I was not all that great with plants, but since I had nothing else to do, I went ahead and tried to make something of it. I realized that while being blind and not being blind at the same time had its advantages, the fact that I would have to keep it a secret from everyone was not just a little distressing. There would be times, many times, in my life, when I would be able to do something, but I would have to wait for someone else to do it, just to keep up appearances. I wondered how Justice Waters got on. After all, he acted just like a seeing person.

Around 3:00 Winter came back, and for several minutes was the recipient of all of my pent-up negative feelings. My mood actually got worse when I had someone to share it with, and after a while Winter, who was very sensitive, began to think I was yelling at her.

“I’m sorry I went to lunch…” she told me. “I should have just stayed here with you.”

My ranting had cooled down (which was the only reason she had a chance to say anything at all) and now I felt like a heel. It almost broke my heart, since when she had come in she had been so happy and excited, but now she regretted all the fun she had had that afternoon.

“Look, I’m sorry,” I tried to fix it. “It’s not your fault, really, Winter. I’m having a tough time adjusting to all this, but I shouldn’t take it out on you. I’m glad you and Patrick had such a good time. Let’s head over to the restaurant, and you can tell me all about it if you like.”

This helped, and soon we were in the car and on our way. Winter wouldn’t tell me anything about her lunch date until we had talked about me and my problem.

“Maybe you could do more if you just claimed to have really good other senses?” she suggested.

“I still don’t think that would help much. I mean, I still can’t drive, and I still can’t go for a walk. After all, how would I know which house was mine when I got back, assuming people would believe I could keep myself on the sidewalk?”

“Maybe you could move to a more secluded place?”

“I don’t want to be away from everybody,” I frowned. “I like being around people.”

“What you need is a second identity,” Winter quipped.

“Yeah…” I agreed, then stopped. “You know what? That’s a pretty good idea.”

“It is?”

“I don’t know how it could work, but if it could, I’d love it! I’d be able to do all the things I want to, minus the things that are physically impossible.”

“Well, you always go by the name ‘Jess,’ so why not start calling yourself by your real name when you go out? You could claim to be your own twin sister!”

“No,” I shook my head presently. “That could never work. What are the chances of a twin sister showing up, and living in my house, right after I go blind? Someone would make the connection.”

“Maybe you could claim to have an operation that partially restored your sight? Or you could get a guide dog?”

“That might work,” a thought began to form in my mind. “I could get a guide dog harness and put it on Victor, then pretend that he was my guide dog and I was trained to use one.”

“That really does sound like it might work,” she admitted. “But I still think a second identity would be cute.”

“Well, maybe I could do one too,” I became thoughtful. “Somehow, I have this odd feeling that with Waters out there trying to make me into a superhero, I might end up with one. Now, enough about that. Tell me about your date.”

“I like Patrick a lot, Jess,” she grinned widely. “I don’t know. I guess I just have this feeling that I’m on the road to stability in a relationship. He’s mature, and thoughtful, and always asking questions…”

“Questions? About what?”

“Oh, well, he asks me what I like, and what I don’t, and about my family and friends. In fact, he asked a lot of questions about you. He’s such a caring man, Jess. He really feels awful about what happened to you.”

I was silent. It was likely that she was quite right about Patrick. He was just a caring man who saw that another human being had gone through a terrible tragedy and was looking for ways to help. After all, he said he was a Christian. Doubt, however, continued to nibble at my toes, as did the image of that car in my memory.

It wasn’t long before we arrived at the restaurant. Before we got out of the car, Winter pulled something out of her pocket and handed it to me. It was a hard rectangular case with the ends rounded. She grinned at me as she gestured for me to take it.

“You’ll be glad of these,” she predicted.

She happened to be right. I opened the box and inside I saw a very nice pair of sunglasses. At first I was slightly unimpressed. After all, I could not even see the sun, much less its brightness, and thus feared no glare. I also had no need of hiding my eyes from people, since they were not damaged in any visible way.

“Thanks, Winter, but why do I need these again?”

“So you can look around,” she replied. “I know you can feel everywhere, but I notice your eyes do tend to move, even if you don’t realize it. This way you can stare in whatever direction you like, and everybody else will think you’re staring straight ahead. Nobody can see through these lenses from the outside.”

She was right. I did tend to move my eyes were I was “looking” with my senses, even though my eyes were themselves powerless. Thus, I donned the glasses and looked at Winter.

“You’re a prophet,” I replied. “Thanks, Winter. It was well-thought-of.”

Inside the restaurant, my presence elicited silence from my employees. There were apologies all around, and pathetic looks, though I believe the majority of them were actually sincere. After all, like my father, I took care of my employees, and most of the older servers, and all the cooks, knew me quite well. I had been in the restaurant since I was a child, and the head chef was a man who was like a grandfather to me.

I went to my office by the kitchen, and many of them came to see me. Molly was actually in tears and required a hug to alleviate them. Heather, the new girl, spoke quickly and nervously, and insisted on helping me and Winter with my yard and housework. I was sometimes hard on her during busy stretches, but she was a fine young woman. Mr. Christopher, the head cook, was quite busy getting ready for evening (our busiest time), but took longer than I expected in my office. He was in his fifties and was my father’s closest friend. A bit shorter than I was, though more massive, he still had a rather strong Greek accent and was as full of energy as ever. His black hair was dusted with white and strong but tender eyes gave him that grandfatherly look.

“My dear, I saw you raised from a little babe,” he told me. “I was your father’s best man when he married your mother, and I was your godfather when they still followed the Old Church, and I’m still your godfather now, though you’ve gone after their new religion.”

I rose and reached out to him, and he embraced me. Mr. Christopher was not a Christian, as is obvious, but remained a strict Greek Orthodox, like most of my extended family. The difference was that he remained a close friend of our family in spite of our faith, and that was why I didn’t mind anything he said about our ‘new religion’ (belief in Christ to save from sin) instead of the ‘Old Church’ (Greek Orthodoxy). I had prayed for many years that he would trust Christ as we had.

“This is not the most terrible thing that could happen to you, my dear, and you must be strong. Life does not end with sight. You can still be a very happy woman! Do not give up on life, but see it with new eyes.”

“I do, Mr. Christopher,” I replied. “God will take care of me always, even through this loss. I would rather lose my sight than any of my family or friends. As long as I am still alive, I will try to be thankful for what I still have, and how much more I’ve gained because of my loss. Christ makes it good.”

“If your new religion helps you cope, then I will say nothing against it,” he sighed, releasing me. “But now that this has happened, what will become of the restaurant? You know your father will not take it back.”

“I’m going to continue running it,” I announced. “Winter will be my new head manager. She’s going to move in with me and take care of me, bring me to work and help get things done like I’ve been doing them.”

“Winter?” several voices murmured.

“My dear girl,” said Mr. Christopher, “the girl is very nice… but how can she run a restaurant? She doesn’t even know how to dress herself!”

“That’s an exaggeration,” I retorted. Fortunately, Winter was not in the room during this exchange. “Winter may be flighty sometimes, but she can be professional, and she is very intelligent. Besides, I’m still running this restaurant. Winter is just the middle man… or woman. Now, I expect that when she tells you something you will all carry it out as if I had said it, because I will have said it. She’ll be helping me with the paperwork and with the books. It’s going to be a lot of work to get used to doing things this way, but I’m still here for all of you. I expect everyone to be patient with Winter.”

“Oh, she’s lots of fun,” said Doug, another more experienced server. He often flirted with her, mostly teasing her, and Winter didn’t think much of him, though he was harmless enough. “Don’t worry, Miss Athan, we’ll make sure she has an easy time at least on our end.”

“Right, she’ll have enough trouble trying to work everything out with me. Now, we have customers right now, and the dinner rush won’t be far off, so let’s get to work. Molly, send Winter in when you see her. I had Beverly show her around the dining areas to get her familiar.”

“I have to say,” Molly replied before leaving, “you’re taking this very well, Miss Athan. I don’t know what would be going through my mind if it had happened to me.”

“I’ve had my moments,” I recalled the horror that I experienced in the hospital. “I won’t lie to you, Molly, I almost went half mad when I found out. But God’s helped me in more ways than I could possibly imagine.”

When they were all gone, I sat down and thought deeply about my own words. Earlier I had been getting hot and angry about the fact that I couldn’t watch television or read a book or go for a walk, when I actually could do so much more than I should have been able to. Unwittingly I had lost sight of the fact that I still had sight, though I should have been enduring total blindness. Pretending to be blind was still better than really being blind.

In a few moments Winter entered, followed by Beverly, who stopped by to give her condolences. She was about Molly’s age, being in her late twenties, but she was better looking, with shorter auburn hair, green eyes, and slight features. Despite being Molly’s age, she was newer than Molly.

“Winter, Beverly is going to help you when you’re out there. I’ve been training her for a while, and she’s quite experienced now, but everything is still a bit fresher in her mind than it is in Molly’s. If you have a question, ask her or Mr. Christopher. Now, sit down with me and we’ll do your hiring papers.”

While the restaurant prepared for dinnertime, Winter and I labored over the paperwork. And ‘labored’ is the right word. I could not read, as I mentioned, and so Winter had the task of reading me everything, which was full-time work. The good news for her was that she was making a good bit more than her last job as a manager in the restaurant. Part of the reason her appointment to head manager was scorned (and would doubtless meet with even more backlash from Ron and the other managers) was that Callas’s was a fine establishment, our entrees tending to run anywhere from around $10 to $30, depending on the dish. Our servers did not wear greasy aprons and our cooks were trained at culinary schools, making them those ‘odd’ cooks that tend to think of their dishes more like art than sustenance. But Mr. Christopher balanced them out. He was trained only by his grandmother, in Greece, and was an absolute despot when he ran the kitchen.

When Winter’s paperwork was finally done, the dinner rush had started and I told her, “Okay, it’s my custom, as you know, when there is no pressing paperwork, to help work the podium out front, take drink orders, and in the meantime check on the guests, just to make sure everything is running smoothly. That being said, I have to show you around and you can see how I do it.”

“I’ve seen you do it before,” she replied.

“But were you listening, or just waiting until I was done so you could talk at me?”

Rolling her eyes, her silence was answer enough for me. While I could not see her actual eyes move, the motion she did with her head was enough that my mind reconstructed the image in quite realistic detail.

First we went to the podium and I watched as she did what she thought I usually do. She did well, so I gave her just a few pointers and we moved on. All the while she pretended to lead me. Then I took her by a table, where were some of our more regular customers. I asked them if everything was alright and if I could do anything for them, and when they inquired, I told them about my injury and introduced Winter as my stand-in.

My friend caught on quite well, especially after I gave her a pep talk about how important this was to the restaurant’s atmosphere and image, and to me personally. It was just as she was she was really getting into the whole affair that, to my great surprise, who should be shown to a table but Patrick! Winter “led” me over to him, being excited, and we asked him what he was doing there.

“Well,” he smiled, “Winter told me so much about you and your restaurant, I thought I would come and see it. I didn’t know she was going to be here. What a pleasant surprise.”

“Oh, it is,” she tittered. “Jess was just showing me how to perform my duties.”

“Please, don’t let me interrupt.”

“No, no, I think it’s fine if Winter eats with you,” I permitted. “If you could just flag down one of the servers and have them show me back to my office…”

“Come on, Jess, what would you do back in your office?” my friend demanded. “Why don’t you eat with us?”

“Thanks, but I learned in college what it’s like to be a third wheel. Pass.”

“Miss Athan, please join us,” Patrick was almost pleading. “I don’t think either Winter or myself would have you alone in your office when you could at least be visiting here with us. Perhaps it would do you some good.”

The thought of being a third wheel was strongly repulsive to me, yet I agreed, not because I was desperate for company, but because I was still suspicious of Patrick and wanted to learn more about him. A bit reluctant, I allowed him to pull out a chair for me, then sat down while he seated Winter. When we were all sitting down, he was the only one looking at the menu. I knew every item on it, and though Winter did not, she was less interested in the menu than she was in Patrick himself. I had to admit to myself that he was a handsome man and not in any way unappealing, but I tried not to let that get in the way of my own business with him.

He and Winter took advantage of having the owner with them to get excellent recommendations, and when we had all ordered (me having ordered something light), we were served our drinks and began to talk.

“So,” I said, smiling as I stared ahead and down slightly, “you’re a stockbroker?”

“An investment consultant, actually,” he admitted. “I’m an independent contractor. It’s good work, but nothing like running a beautiful establishment like this. If the food is as delicious as the environment is stimulating, then I’ll probably come here more often.”

“Let’s be frank, Patrick,” I said, feeling a bit like Winter’s mother, “even if the food was perfectly disgusting, I think you would be here more often.”

“Well…” he smiled, looking over at Winter. “You may be right about that.”

In a few more minutes of dialogue, our food arrived, but just as we had said grace and were about to partake, Molly came over and informed us, “There’s a man over in the smoking section complaining about his meal, Miss Athan. He’s demanding a new plate free of charge. What do you want us to do?”

“Oh, dear,” I sighed.

“Jess, let me handle it,” Winter said, rising. “I know what to do.”

“But Winter…” I tried to stop her.

“Don’t worry, I’m not that big of a ninny. Now, you two just have dinner and I’ll be back in a minute. Remember, Jess, don’t worry!”

Feeling a bit stressed about Winter taking this upon herself, I was forced to settle back, as I couldn’t just get up and follow her over, not with everyone around. Blind people don’t just get up and walk around places wherever they like. And so, a bit pouty, I was resigned to stay with Patrick while Winter tried to handle this fussy customer on her own. Even I sometimes had difficulty with this.

“She’s right. You shouldn’t worry,” Patrick told me, doubtless reading the look on my face. “I’m sure you know she’s much more capable than she seems at first.”

“I know,” I could not help being irritated.

“If you don’t mind my asking,” he went on presently, “what happened, exactly? I mean, I read the story in the paper, but since you’re here, if you feel like it, I’d like to know how it all happened.”

“There isn’t much to tell. I went home one night, got rear-ended, and when I got out to look at the damage, the guy walked up and shot me in the head, blinding me totally.”

“You don’t have any enemies, do you?”

“Of course not,” I frowned, a little surprised at the question. “At least, I have no enemies who would be capable of murdering me in cold blood! Besides, it was obviously a carjacker who shot me. After all, they took my car.”

“I heard they recently found the car,” Patrick said, taking a bite. “Mmm! This is very good, by the way, Jess. I can call you ‘Jess,’ right?”

“Sure, Patrick… How come I haven’t heard anything about the car being found?”

“Well, it was in the paper,” he sat back and wiped his lips. “Apparently the car was left with nothing missing–nothing stolen that the police could see. It even still had half a tank of gas in it. One would think if someone was willing to murder over a car, they would have at least have kept their prize, right?”

“One would think,” I was actually mystified. I had totally forgotten about Winter. Why would whoever had shot me discard the car so flippantly unless the whole object of my murder was more than just to steal my car? “So you think someone was actually just after my head?”

“I don’t know, but it would seem like it,” he shrugged. “Frankly, after I read that in the paper, and you and I knowing each other now, through Winter, I feel a bit uneasy about it. You’ll be getting the car back soon, so I’d be on the lookout for a clue of some kind, but be careful too. There wasn’t anything that led up to what happened, was there?”

“Well, there was one thing…” I purposefully let on. “But it’s probably unrelated. Anyway, I don’t see how it could be related. It’s probably just my own mind trying to–”

“What?” he interrupted, and I could see he was no longer eating. In fact, he was leaning forward, and staring quite intently at me.

“Well, there was this…”

I was about to say “car” when suddenly Winter’s drink fell over! Her wine spilled out onto the floor, and the glass soon followed, hitting the stone floor and shattering. Everyone was staring at us. I could not help looking over, instinctively.

“That’s the strangest thing,” Patrick said, helping Heather clean up the pieces a moment later. “That glass had a wide base. It would take more than a breeze to knock it over, and there’s no breeze in here anyway.”

“It was probably just too near the edge,” Heather shrugged.

I didn’t say it, but it hadn’t been. It was sufficiently away from the edge when it fell. That was why the wine had actually stained the top of the table cloth, because it fell over and then rolled onto the floor. Patrick stood, examining the wide, broken base while Heather went to get a garbage bag for the broken pieces. Then the man sat down again.

“What were you saying, Jess?” he stared closely at me, but glanced around too.

“Just that there was a car when I left the restaurant that night. It followed me a ways, but it couldn’t have been the one that hit me. That car had been on the highway I merged onto, so the first car must have just coincidentally been heading the same direction I had been.”

“I see,” he sat back, and he was looking around, cautiously.

“You know, it looked a bit like your car, if I recall right.”

“Really? Strange.”

I looked down at my plate, and started, but immediately caught myself and regained a casual air. To my surprise, the beans on my plate had been arranged into words! They were crude, but they said, “Tell nothing.” I looked up, and scanned the room casually, until something caught my eye. It was a wool fedora on a man’s head. The man was just leaving, but I saw he walked with a white cane. He did not look back. Taking my fork in hand, I mixed up the beans once more.

“You don’t think it’s odd about that glass?” I inquired presently.

“Oh, yes, very odd, almost like it moved on its own!” he agreed. “Does that happen often around here, Jess?”

“I can’t say I’ve ever seen it happen.”

“You know,” Patrick went on as I saw Winter approaching again, “I hope that we can see more of each other, Jess. I think your spirit is amazing. I mean, here you are, having gone through this horrible situation, and you’re handling it masterfully. That takes some inner strength, that. You really are an inspiration, Jess, and you look lovely. You’re a really special woman, I think.”

“Sorry it took so long,” Winter sighed a moment later, sparing me from responding, and being seated beside her date once more. “That customer was really fussy! But you know what’s odd? He was arguing and complaining about his food, and then he just gave up and told me and Jeb that it was alright the way it was. I’m confused! Does that happen often?”

I played with the fork in my hand, staring at Patrick and thinking about what he had said, and about Water’s presence.

“Never,” I answered.