Word Weld

One of the oddest things about my blindness, and one of the things that I took some time in getting used to, was pretending. Now, even after my discoveries in the hospital, it still took me a few minutes to create the images in my mind. The more I played with my abilities, however, it seemed as if the images “stuck” more, and did not fade away. Because they were becoming more permanent, I had to pretend not to react to things that happened around me. I was learning not to have to point my hands at things to make images, but I still had to turn my head.

When Winter came to pick me up, I had to hide the fact that I could still see from her. If the doctors knew, they would almost certainly have detained me, and if I told Winter about it, she would not have been able to contain herself. I allowed her to lead me by the hand down the corridors and out to the elevator.

“We’ll get you a walking stick to tap things with,” she told me as we boarded the elevator. A doctor and another visitor were already in the elevator. I stared straight ahead the whole time, and as such parts of the world around me were not in my mental image. After a few stops the doors opened onto the ground floor and we exited. I ran into the edge of the elevator door on purpose, just to pad the part. What was largely disappointing about the world as I saw it were the lack of lights and tones. Everything was very bland, though I tried to color in everything I saw. After spending a few moments at the receptionist’s desk, we left the hospital.

“We’ll take you right to your house and get you settled back in there,” she said, looking at me as we walked across the street to the parking garage. The world out beyond the hospital was very large, of course, and took some time to recreate with my new senses. However, as I looked left my mind saw a car coming, and Winter not paying attention. Instinctively, I stopped us, gripping her by the arm.

“You must have awesome hearing, Jess!” she exclaimed as the car drove past. “I guess being blind does make your other senses better.”

“I guess,” I replied dryly. Some of my stumbling was actually real, as I got used to moving in a world I perceived much differently than I had before. I did not always remember that I had to sense the ground I was walking on before I sensed the building three hundred feet away. Plus, there were other things, like the numerous cars that would pass by quickly, and it was impossible at this point for me to sense them all and keep track of them, since they were gone in a few moments. I was learning to manage what I sensed and how long I kept focused on each thing. Winter helped me into her sedan and we were soon driving out of the bottom floor of the parking garage.

“Your mom called last night,” said Winter presently. “She wanted to know how you were doing. How are you feeling right now, Jess?”

“I don’t even know,” I answered, vaguely sensing things now flying past us as we drove. Keeping everything straight while moving was a real challenge, but if that Waters guy could do it, I surely could too. It was just going to take a bit of practice.

“I feel so awful for you,” she frowned. “I honestly don’t know what I would have done if it had been me. I don’t know if I’d want to live anymore.”

“I’m here because God wants me to stay alive,” I reasoned. “If it had been my time to go, then God wouldn’t have spared my life. That bullet would have gone a bit further to the left or right and it would have all been over. As it is, I just have to trust God to take care of me, like he always has. I just thank God for you, Winter. I don’t think anyone else would have sacrificed like you have for me.”

“I wish I could just pray your eyesight back, Jess. I wish you didn’t have to live this way. But of course you’re right, God has a reason for sparing your life. Maybe it’s just because I’d miss you if you died.”

“Thanks, Winter,” I reached over and squeezed her arm.

For some minutes there was silence. I could tell that Winter was disturbed by the whole series of events. However, she was unusually pensive as she drove. At last we were stopped at a long red light. To my own interest, even though I could not see the colors of the lights, I could tell which lights were lit because I could “feel” that the lights that were on were warmer. This took a bit of concentration, but it gradually became easier. Then I noticed that Winter was rather well-dressed for it being on a weekday, and early. Her hair was done up, and she wore fine jewelry, a knee-length dress, and fancy shoes. It was not her usual date type of attire, and was very conservative yet attractive (though I could not see the colors). While I was not sure when I wanted to tell her, I knew that soon she would end up finding out about my little abilities.

“Winter,” I said slowly, “are you going out today?”

“What?” she started. “Um… what makes you say that?”

“You’re all dressed up,” I quipped. “I hope you have someplace to go…”

“How do you know if I’m dressed up?”

“Don’t ask me that right now. Come on, where are you going today?”

“Oh, well…” she hesitated, actually for several seconds (which is longer than it sounds). While she hesitated, the light turned, and she didn’t notice.

“The light is green,” I said.

Winter stared at me in disbelief, but the car behind us honked and she had to get going. When we were driving along steadily once more, she asked, “What’s going on, Jess? You can tell how I’m dressed and you can tell if the light is green… the doctor said you were blind…”

“Okay, I’ll make you a deal,” I looked right at her. “If I tell you how I know these things, you have to tell me why you’re going out.”

“Alright…” Winter looked guarded.

I explained the nature of my senses in moderate detail, and included what I knew about Justice Waters. Winter was shocked and would probably have thought I was crazy except that there was nothing she could hide from me if I concentrated enough. She even had me guess how she was holding her tongue.

“So what does this weirdo want you to do?” she asked finally.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “It seems he wants me to help people, but until I know exactly how to use these abilities I’m not doing anything, much less going around playing Lone Ranger. Besides, I want to know more about Waters, and what exactly he believes. I want to know if this really is a gift from God, or whether someone is just playing with my mind.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know that either. Maybe someone staged the whole thing. Maybe I’m not blind and they just want me to think I am. Maybe they did some kind of experiment on me that made me this way. I want to know more, but the fact right now is that I can see with these abilities.”

“You think you can really… you know, teleport stuff, like him?”

I chuckled, “It’s called ‘telekinesis ,’ Winter, not ‘teleportation.’ I didn’t think it was actually possible, but I’ve seen it myself. I want to try it out, too, just to see how far along I am in this whole thing. I mean, Waters said I would eventually be able to read ink. Now, since I can only feel, not actually see, that means that I can eventually feel objects on a level that is small enough to detect almost literally particles of ink on particles of paper.”

“Wow,” she started. “That’s crazy. I don’t know what to think of all this, Jess. What if it’s… well, you know, like witchcraft or something?”

“You know that God won’t let Satan touch His children,” I retorted. “No, I don’t believe this is evil. I don’t know much yet, but I don’t think that these abilities themselves are evil. I think only God could have given them to me. Anyway, we had a deal, remember?”

“You can’t seriously be stuck on that when all this is happening right now, can you?” she looked surprised. “I mean, here you are, miraculously alive after being shot in the head, you lose your eyesight, only to be given some weird magical sense thing by some man with a courtroom complex?”

“I don’t think he gave it to me, and yes, I am ‘stuck’ on it. Right now, I can’t do anything about my situation but trust God and wait, and try to figure out how I can use these talents I’ve been given. I’m still going to need your help, Winter. Tell me, what’s going on?”

“I don’t want to,” my friend replied, almost angry.

Taken aback, I sat back in my seat and stared ahead once more. “Okay.”

For several moments, perhaps even a full minute, there was silence.

“I don’t really want to not tell you, either,” she admitted at last. “It’s just… I feel bad about it, Jess. I didn’t want to tell you because I don’t want you to think I don’t really, really care about you and what’s happened to you.”

“You’re seeing someone,” I guessed.

“Just after your accident, while you were still in a coma, I met this man in the hospital. I came to see if you had come round, and when you hadn’t, I stayed for a while. When I left, I met this guy and he was really nice. He wasn’t like my usual dates. He was, you know, a bit more gentile, and just a bit more professional. Anyway, I didn’t want to mention it.”

“Winter, it’s okay,” I put my hand back on her arm. “I’m happy for you. I always worried that you were going to date some off-the-wall type. I’m glad you found someone a bit more stable.”

“But with you the way you are… or were…”

“Winter, you have your own life, and I’d sooner die than suck it up with you taking care of me all the time. Even if I were totally blind, I would still want you to go on your date. It’s a bit early, though, isn’t it?”

“We’re supposed to have lunch,” she looked happier at once. “He said he works for an investment company here in Baltimore. He’s probably way too classy a guy for me, but if he wants to ask me out, I’m not going to say ‘no,’ you know?”

“I think you’re plenty classy, if you just try,” I shook my head. “Look at you now! I can’t tell what color your clothes are, but the style is very simple, very elegant.”

“The dress is red,” Winter revealed. “It doesn’t even have a pattern on it.”

“Thank goodness! And what about the shoes?”

“They’re black.”

“Very good, Winter!” I applauded. “With any other guy they would have been neon green!”

“They’ve only got a three inch heel, too,” my friend bragged.

“Bravo. Maybe you won’t look quite so silly when you walk.”

“You’re so ruthless.”

“I try.”

At the house I let myself out, and my next door neighbor, Mr. Hisharo, was out watering his lawn. I immediately began to act the blind part again, to my own annoyance, so he would not be suspicious when he found out what was wrong. The man was in his late fifties, and was Japanese-American. His round face was wrinkled to the point of being almost cute, and he squinted constantly. Despite being Japanese, he spoke English fluently and was a citizen.

“Miss Athan?” he frowned at me, though I tried not to look directly at him.

“Mr. Hisharo!” I called back, feeling along the car door as Winter arrived from the other side of the vehicle. “Is that you?”

He walked up to me and looked very startled. “You have been gone for some time… What has happened? Are you alright?”

“Jess lost her sight in a carjacking on Friday,” Winter related to her. “She’s totally blind.”

“My goodness!” he was at once the picture of sympathy. “I am so very sorry… Here, I will open the door for you both… let me see your key.”

My house was a very nice two-story house, large for one person, which I was still paying off. It was in a residential district with many like houses around it. The garage was on the left side, and a well-manicured lawn on the right. My lawn blended together with Mr. Hisharo’s, so our houses were mirrored. Cobblestone steps, surrounded by flowers, led from the driveway to the front door. While there was no patio or porch, the door had windows on either side of it, and one at the top of the door itself. There were three bedrooms, one of which I used as an office. I was only so affluent because of the success of the restaurant, and because the size of the house came in handy when my cousin or brother came to visit with their children.

Winter helped me inside and sat me down on the couch, then went back to the front door, where Mr. Hisharo still stood, and explained some of the things that had happened. Meanwhile, I observed my house, which I knew so well, and found that my senses reconstructed the house in very vivid detail. Even things I thought I would not remember the color to showed up very well, and all the imperfections I knew so well were there too. My dog Victor came up to me there and wagged his tail. He was a Golden Retriever, my favorite breed of dog, and very affectionate. As I petted him, he whined at me, and I smiled.

“Did you miss me, Victor?”

“Oh, yes,” Winter said, coming back from the front door. “He’s missed you a great deal. Mr. Hisharo said you could hear his whining next door. When I came over to feed him, he hardly ate anything, at least not until he was very hungry. I hope you don’t mind, but the hospital wouldn’t give me your house key, so I used the one you hid. I’ll go put it back.”

“That’s fine,” I called after her, still rubbing Victor under the ears. When Winter came back, I asked her if she was driving to meet this date of hers, or if he was going to come and pick her up.

“He’s coming here,” she sat down next to me on the couch.

“Isn’t that a little odd?”

“How so?”

“Well, if it’s for lunch, doesn’t he have to get back to work?”

“He said his hours aren’t always regular. Some days he says he works late and some days he doesn’t have to work much at all from the office. He said he works from home a lot.”

“What’s he look like?” I asked with a sly grin.

“Tallish,” she looked unconcerned. “He has dusty brown hair, and eyes like blue marble. And his face is intelligent, and his smiles are very cute…”

“Cute?” I repeated. “I see.”

“You’re not supposed to,” Winter observed dryly.

“You’d rather I didn’t?”

“No, don’t be that way. I didn’t mean that.”

“I know,” I dropped the act. “I was just getting under your skin.  I don’t know what’s going to happen, Winter, but I hope you won’t tell anyone about… well, about my sight.”

“I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” I rose and walked into the kitchen. “The doctor was very emphatic that I am totally blind, and if that’s the case, then something very unusual is going on, something supernatural. I don’t know what it is, but I’m beginning to wonder about the night it happened.”

“Wonder about it how?” she frowned, having followed me, and now leaned on my island counter, absently turning my lazy Suzan.

As I got out a few ingredients to make myself a sandwich, I remembered some things, “The night that it happened there was a car parked at the restaurant. It was the only one there when I left, and it left the same time that I did, now that I think about it.”

“You think someone followed you from the restaurant?”

“Maybe. I can’t remember if it stayed with me the whole time or not. I took a few turns, of course, on the way home… Wait! It couldn’t have been the same car!”

“Why not?”

“Because,” I put the cheese down, “I remember that when the car that rear-ended me pulled up behind me, it came up from a long way off. It had been coming down the highway already, while I had just turned onto the highway.”

“So I guess the car at the restaurant was unrelated,” Winter mused.

“Not necessarily. What if it was Waters that followed me from the restaurant? What if he witnessed the whole thing…? What if he arranged it?”

“That doesn’t make sense, though, Jess,” she squinted. “If Waters arranged the thing, then he certainly wanted you killed. I mean, the chances of shooting you in the head and not killing you are pretty small. You still have the bandage. You can see where they hit you. From what you told the doctor, too, it doesn’t seem like they paid much attention to where they shot you.”

“No, you’re right,” I went back to my sandwich, albeit a little distractedly. “If Waters had arranged what happened that night, then he would have wanted me dead, and if he had wanted to kill me, he could have easily done it last night. It didn’t seem like he had any difficulty getting into the hospital even after hours. I’d like to go back and make some inquiries, but I think that would be complicated.”

“I could go for you,” Winter offered. “I’ll be your sleuth and ask around about him. He must have been seen by someone, right?”

“If you would do that, I’d really appreciate it. I have to call the restaurant and make sure that things are running smoothly without me. There shouldn’t be a problem. They usually run the restaurant fine when I’m gone, but they are used to seeing me around a lot.”

“I can stop by the restaurant too if you want,” she shrugged.

“No,” I shook my head. “I’ll call in. If you don’t mind, though, after you get done with your date I’d like to go over to the restaurant a little later and get everyone used to having you around all the time. We have to go through hiring papers and that kind of thing.”

“You think I’ll make the background check?” she looked worried.

“Winter,” I rolled my eyes, “It doesn’t matter. I know you, and even if something did come up in your background check, I’d probably hire you anyway!”

“Oh, right,” she relaxed. I had hoped that she was kidding.

Shaking my head, I suddenly slapped the counter, “Oh, shoot! You know what? I can’t read any of the documents I have to go over with you!”

“It’s okay. I’ll read them to you.”

“I know, but if I hire somebody else, then I can’t rely on them to read it to me.”

“Hey,” my friend smiled, striking a “woman executive” pose, “I’m your head manager, right? I’ll take care of the new hires.”

“Yeah, well, I want to meet anyone you hire,” I stated.

“No problem.”

As I was just sitting down to have my sandwich a few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Winter was immediately very excited and asked me repeatedly how she looked. I told her she looked the best I’d seen her in years.

“Very funny,” she scowled, moving to the door. She opened it and I heard a man’s voice. It was a strong voice but not overly deep, and rather pleasant, I thought. In a few moments Winter came around the corner with her new favorite thing in tow. “…and here she is,” my friend gestured to me as I stood by the kitchen table. I rose once more, purposefully staring forward in the way the blind people do. I let Winter take my hand and press it into his. Actually, he was much the way she had described, though the colors were absent, of course.  He wore very nice clothes, including a very sharp blazer. I guessed him to be in his late twenties, maybe thirty, which put him a few years ahead of Winter, but not too many.

“Justice, meet Patrick,” she introduced us, “Patrick… Justice.”

“I told you never to use my first name, Winter,” I clenched my teeth.

“Oh, sorry,” it was obvious she had slipped.

“I go by Jessica, or just ‘Jess,’” I told Patrick. “It’s my middle name.”

“Pleased to meet you,” he shook my hand firmly but not painfully. “Patrick Chaphill, and I go by ‘Pat,’ usually. I’m so sorry about your eyes…”

“These things happen,” I tried to act a bit emotional, though I’m sure if I had been a normal blind person, I would have probably started to cry at that point. “It’s not easy, Patrick, but God gives us strength each day, and some days we need more strength than others.”

“That’s true. I take it you’re a Christian, like Winter?”

“Yes, yes I am. Are you?”

“Yes, actually. I guess your faith is what would explain how you can handle it so well.”

“Well, I’m not completely over it yet,” I said, being totally honest. “But I guess my time of loss is Winter’s time of gain! I won’t hold you up, Patrick. Winter is a well-sought-after woman, and you look good together.”

“Well, if there is anything I can do for you, please let me know,” he stared at me rather hard. “I know it must have been a traumatic experience for you.”

“Yes, well, I’d rather not think about it right now,” I insisted. “You two go on. Have a good lunch.”

“Will you be all right by yourself?” Patrick persisted.

“Yes, yes, now go on!”

When they had gone, I puzzled that he had lingered so long. I had shown them to the door, and locked it after them. Feeling a bit nosy, I watched from window beside the door as they walked down to Patrick’s car, which was parked by the curb. Then I frowned. While I could not see the color of the car, it was the same type of car that had lingered at the restaurant last Friday night.